Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Secrets of the INTERNETS!

Hello and good day, vast e-void.
I'm Hans. Cameron's husband.
Tonight I locked her in the wine cellar and maniacally tickled her feet - dare I say relentlessly? - until she offered up her Blogger login. That elusive, gold encrusted key.

YEAH RIGHT, as if we have a wine cellar (oh lawd, I wish!). But I tell you, I would TOTALLY DO IT. Because I mean biz-ness, and I'm takin' this to the streets. Those mean, mean cyber streets.

See, I reached the end of the internet today. It is a dark place.
And I stumbled onto a secret. No, this isn't some Oprah kind of "the Secret!!", oh hell naw. This is the motherload.

Today is Cameron's 1 YEAR BLOGGIVERSARY!
HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME THIS?! Is this some kind of secret society ... a bunch of secret ... secret keepers ... bein' all secrety and stuff? Is this because I don't have a social networking account? Is THAT what this is about?

Well, you sneaky sneakering internerd conspirators, consider your plot foiled. And you would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for this meddling four-eyed-freckle-face! I'm on to you, I found out that it's Cameron's one-year Bloggiversary, and I INTEND ON WISHING HER A HAPPY ONE. So back off, I've got the Toshiba now. And, I intend to hijack the $h1t outta this mother!

* * * * *

My dear Cameron, in light of all the drama that 2008 dumped on us and what 2009 is sure to pile on, I need you to know how much I adore you and how much time I waste at work checking for your updates. I think I'll wait until later to tell you that I've gotten two write ups for internet misuse. Yeah. We'll totally tackle that later, right?
(Maybe I'm kidding ... maybe ...)

Oh crap, is this post published?! $@#$%#$

Well, I didn't mean to press that button yet, I'm still new to this whole 'blog' thang.
But you, my dear, well ... I love you. <3

- H
* * * * *

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU VOYEURISTIC, SICK INTERNET?
Yeah, I said it. I published it. My wife rules. And you know what else? WE JUST MADE A RAD DINNER.
Together. Which leads me to another secret that the Internet never told me.
Sauteed brussel sprouts are AWESOME.

SRSLY. EV olive oil, a dash of balsamic, S&P, and a touch of stone ground mustard.
This is foliage divinity. It's a good train. Get on it.

Whoa, rabbit trail. Back to the post:

Cameron, my friend and my companion, happy first Bloggiversary.
And to all the good people we've met solely because of blogging, thanks for the GT's ... here's to many more.

- Hans, the four-eyed-freckle-face internerd sleuth

PS - GT's = Good Times (for those of you who are mathematically impaired)
Wait, what? ...




3 comments:

Home2k9 said...

I love you back baby! Thanks for the sweet guest post and HOT DAMN that dinner WAS good!

sufferingsummer said...

ahhhh happy one year to Cam!
Yeah for guest blog posting husbands!
yeah for Internet sleuthing!
Yeah for four eyed red headed freckle faced internerds!
BOo for bureaucratic spying bosses
here's to many more.

See Sherm Blog said...

So cute! Happy 1 year of blogging!!!!! Love'n the Hans post.