Getting to the point.

Sometimes peace washes over you so unexpectedly and with such sweetness and joy that you can't help but to overflow with gratitude. These are the things that make life most worth living. 

I have felt frustrated at a lack of inspiration for writing. Four drafted blog posts sit incomplete, but full of potential, and no matter how I strategize I can't seem to give them life. I extended an invitation to my "village," requesting advise, help, even rescue(!), with many kind contributions and validations coming my way, but still those drafts sit idle. It's OK, I can let them go. My best chance of forward motion rests in simply telling you I'm trying. I'm still here, trying. My village is frickin awsome though. ;) 

I've been working on Jake's story, dabbled in an adoption "How To," and there's a discussion in the works on reactive dog origins... Would you like to know how I first started writing here at all though? I suddenly feel a great peace about writing that story... perhaps that will help me.

The story of Home2K9 begins with Miles, he was our first Boxer and our first dog as adults, married, independent, adults. We found him from a Craigslist ad which indicated he was 9 months old and too much for his current home. We set up a meeting with the owner's and drove a million miles to knock at their door, where an enormous fawn Boxer boy greeted us with all four paws in the air. 

From the moment we met I asserted myself, bucking him off with my knee as all 65 pounds flew towards me. I am 5'4" and 110 pounds, there's no way I could work with dogs if I didn't understand the value of timing and intention. You could see a light turn on in his eyes when I stood up to him, and he accepted something that made sense finally as well as felt more comfortable, boundaries. We observed that he was wild, bored, lacking socialization or structure, and even physically unhealthy. A classic case of the wrong breed acquired, as well as an innapropriate home for a puppy, Miles was crated over nine hours a day and returned to his crate frequently for being out of control once the family was home. 

Being the naive idiots we were, and completely crazy for the look of that gorgeous boy, we claimed him and began a journey together that would last over eight years. Our "kid" needed major undoing, and figuring out how to communicate with him, sculpt him, and bond with him, meant studying and networking and truly making him a project. We learned so much loving that boy and he responded beautifully to each new skill we acquired. I was in agility with  Miles until his knee wouldn't allow it, hit the island dog parks daily and walked the beaches. We travelled together, fostered dogs and adopted more dogs, every one of which was better for having Miles as a mentor. Miles was so sick when we acquired him that it took months to straighten him out, I learned nearly everything I know and trust about raw feeding because of desperately wanting to get him well. We became very well versed in holistic pet care and faced all manor of common Boxer health issues with that silly wiggle butt. A major heart murmur from day one, alopecia, allergies, digestive issues, cataracts, corneal ulcers... you name it. 

Miles was a sensitive and amazing dog with classic Boxerness. When he developed a severe allergy issue that ultimately required prednisone, we met his alter ego... a Boxer who consumes everything in it's path including the kitchen sponge. Those last couple of medicated years were tough and definitely a bummer for all of us. We ultimately aren't sure what took our boy from us, but he passed in our arms at home on Halloween night a few years ago. The timing very bittersweet as we needed to move, but said we wouldn't until we had two dogs and not three. 

Miles was the reason we fell in love with Boxers, the reason for this blog, the driving force behind all things dog and rescue related that we do. Because of that sweet boy I began to dream of being a "stay at home dog mom" and today he would be proud to see that I essentially am living our dream. I will never stop missing that handsome pup, but I can't thank him enough for the community he led me to, some friends he drew me to who have remained among the best people in my life, and for the passion I didn't know I had in me to facilitate healthy canine/human bonds. What a difference one life can make, he certainly made all the difference in mine. 

XO -Cam

P.S.  I have so many incredible stories about Miles... he had zero prey drive and was friends with our house rabbit, played chase games and hung out on the couch with her. He would allow the hamsters to climb on him and was sweet to the cat. When Miles passed away I had an incredible experience of literally seeing and feeling him with me one night. We were so connected, the pain of losing him was unbelievable, but that special night I was in physical pain from severe symptoms of an autoimmune disease and as I was crying I swear he came to me. He rested his head on my tummy and I could feel the weight of it, exactly the way it felt when he was here. I saw his face with my eyes wide open and the pain I was experiencing lifted. Surreal. He was a sensitive dog who knew my thoughts and required very little discussion to move in sync with me, I begged him to come back in a future dog and I see him in both Tweedles today. <3 br="">

Off she went, almost as quickly as she came.

People comment all the time that they "couldn't do it," and that "it must be so hard." They are right. 

Fostering is not for everyone and it's certainly rather painful or exhaustive at times. Anelie was our seventh foster Boxer for Northwest Boxer Rescue. She was deaf, she had acquired a bit of a bad rap and she was a very anxious girl, prone to obnoxious behaviors which communicated her lack of clarity for what was happening around her. I have had deaf dogs before and I love them. The uniqueness of a deaf dog really can't be communicated in words, it's ironic actually. In the same way that they cannot hear and discuss their process traditionally, you cannot experience their special energy and sensitivity unless you own/handle/care for one. Trust is taken to a whole new level with a deaf dog. Deaf dogs need patience, creativity, visual cues and stimulus as well as increased companionship. It's not enough for a deaf dog to be a guard dog for people absent twelve hours a day. Imagine if you were locked in silence and then left alone sun up to sun down, would you go a bit batty? I know I would.

Nels Bells, my beautiful girl, she was something completely different after six weeks time. I read a comment by her former foster last night and it was dead on, "Nel loves her leaders," this is so true and she told me she loved me when she waited in the car of her adopters yesterday. Her eye contact, her mental questions directed only to me, they told me I had done my job. Talk about tear your heart out, I felt like I was giving up my own kid because I knew someone else could provide a better life. It's true. I was just the temp housing, the "best we could do for now," a pretty awesome option, but never the perfect one. Doesn't matter sometimes, the heart wants what the heart wants. I think it was in absolutely knowing what she needed that I felt more qualified to care for her, but my life just didn't allow for it. So you celebrate that the answer has come, you tell them they can do this and that she WILL show them something amazing... then you pray. I am very clear in my position as an Area Coordinator for the rescue, I share and share and share some more as far as what the adopter should expect, how hard it might actually be and how to push past it all. I give them every means of contact possible for reaching me, 24/7. I ask questions, suggest hypothetical situations and express the best means of troubleshooting. There's very little else one can do. In this case, they were both sure, but they were both new to this. This deafness thing, they couldn't be sure about that because they've never experienced it before. 

When you foster, *most* of the time you are just the interviewer, gathering information about your guest and cataloging the details of what would make their "best life" possible. We interviewed Nel as a family for those first few weeks and she needed a full time friend. Canine buddies help, our boys were her besties by the end, but she would thrive with constant companionship and then all the ins and out of how to "manage" her would fade away. There were hints of possible matches, but nothing as perfect as a retired couple in a big house full of windows. I mean, come on... when you can't hear you really need to SEE as much as possible. Happy I am, so happy for her to be surrounded by steady love and plenty of beauty to enjoy. She is a queen in my heart, her last night snuggled up so close and sweetly with no hint of insecurity. They committed to her, put pen to paper and then asked me a simple question that I have completely forgotten due to the immediate water works that followed. Whatever it was that new mama Chris asked me, I replied with "the thing is... YOU are exactly what SHE needs." So there it was. We/she is choosing you, you have to answer the call.

Now called Audrey, our former guest will be a queen in her furever home too. She leaves another indelible impression on my heart and I will long for updates as I have for all of our "foster kids," but mostly I will long for stories that she has forgotten me and transferred all of her energy onto her new moms. Once she has, she will fill their hearts overflowing and my joy will be multiplied. No heartache can take that away.

Foster, risk your heart, be filled up and make a difference. A small sacrifice from you, but to them a whole lifetime of difference.