Saturday, February 2, 2008

I could really do without the "walking man."

Today has been full of good things; happy pups getting in some romp time at the park, a long overdue visit with my bro/sis-in-law & niece, and a fabulous lunch at Grandma's house. The final installation of much needed curtains in the bedroom is also worthy of note as I have been battling a love/hate relationship with a neighbor here who likes to walk his dog up and down our street sometimes three times a day. I call him "walking man" because I haven't had the presence of mind to ask his name during any of the awkward moments we have been within fifty feet of one another. Perhaps it's been awkward because I have been so angry that I'm in my pj's attempting to coral my dogs and stop them from trying to alert people as far away as China that he is walking by. On the other hand, I don't want to know his name because I'd kind of like to egg his house and that would be harder to do if I develop any kind of relationship with him which involves feelings of neighborliness or canine comradery.

You see he walks with his coffee cup in hand every morning at about 8am and his dog is always off leash wandering in and out of other people's yards marking and defecating wherever he pleases with his master paying no mind. Right about the time he's passing by I'm either getting dressed (thus ducking past the uncovered windows) or attempting to wrap things up here and get off to work. I inevitably need to let the boys out to do their business one final time, but alas... the WM and his canine companion make it extremely dramatic. There's the barking, running around or charging the fence, the peeing on trees and all the other things that take place when you have an unknown dog and man pass by your pack.

As a result I have grown to despise this man and his stupid walking routine which as I said, has increased to three times a day most days. He walks in the aforementioned morning, at lunch of course, during the same time I'm home and again in the evenings when it's dark out and the dogs are especially alarmed by his flashlight laden silhouette shuffling by. I'm pleased to know that he cares enough to take his dog out several times a day and that he obviously likes to be in this neighborhood is a positive sign as well, but I'm so close to running out there and charging the fence myself with a shirt full of water balloons all meant to be chucked at his head in rapid succession if he doesn't agree to stop coming around all together. I suppose I would be open to negotiations and perhaps we could come to an arrangement which includes changing the times he comes around or the speed at which he passes by (currently slow as molasses) or my favorite... pay me a toll each time he sets foot on my part of the street. I think I'd be rich in no time.

For now, I don't have a choice other than to keep my eye out and hold off letting the troops out until it's all clear on the street. The boys can't help their natural instinct to defend our place and their actions serve as a good example of why I don't think dogs should be left alone in yards when their humans are away. Bored and unsupervised dogs most often spend their time learning naughty things like escaping techniques or bothering others with their barking and potential fighting or digging. The curtains will help alot I think, I'm hopeful they will remove some of the peeping tom aspect to WM's passing by, but who knows.

Any other suggestions as to how one gets such a person to decide on their own that they want to change their route??? Sprinklers "accidentally" aimed at the street? The sudden appearance of sink hole in front of our driveway? Invite Brittney Spears to stay awhile?

It can't be too obnoxious because that will just create intrigue and God knows I'd have a serious meltdown if more people started walking by just to see me say... flashing them on the front lawn or installing a long line of pink flamingo ornaments up the driveway.


On a side note, here is "Kitty" demonstrating his heat-seeking tendencies as I was drying my hair this morning. Often I will blast him with it for a moment or two and he looks in to my eyes and tells me I'm the most wonderful woman in the universe and that he'll love me forever.

No comments: