No you cannot come over.

There's hair everywhere. I called a meeting with the dander and the dust bunnies were in attendance too. Despite my motions to dispatch them elsewhere, it seems that all parties wish to remain exactly where they are, some in plain sight and many in nooks darn near impossible to reach. My pleading did nothing to dissuade them, even threats of vacuuming and Swiffers were argued as they claim I am outnumbered and lazy, which is true. I cried about looking so very unkempt with beast hairs on my sleeves and stalkings, but again they say it is too cold for them to remain outside and too warm to continue their relationship with the canines. It's only natural for them to like my clothing, baseboards and ledges. An offer was made of a wee shack with insulation known as Le Can De Trash in a nearby neighborhood called Garage', but again they declined citing "motion sickness when traveling" and something about how they aren't sure they'll speak the language... What more can be done? It seems as though the only answer is peaceful coexistence or else we'll have an army of sloughed and shedded(real word) bits retaliating with a vengeance if I try to wield some kind of janitorial sword.

Having given in then to the present condition of our home, you cannot come over because it would be far too embarrassing and of course not at all a true representation of the more common cleanliness we dwell in. Ha.

A side... I received a birthday present today! G.R.A.V.E.L!!! Who knew it could be so exciting? The best part is that I had no idea how much we really needed and I have no doubt I sounded like a total princess ordering the stuff this morning. I did not expect delivery THE SAME DAY AS I ORDERED IT so, imagine my surprise when I received a call at work this afternoon from the driver wondering where to dump it. At my coworkers urging I left immediately and headed home to supervise and the whole thing turned out to be just super swell. No more swampland for us, I'm parking my Mini on Grade A top choice 5/8's clean GRAVEL! Well, cross that one off the list and move on to the next, I'm totally stoked. Also, I'd like to add an item to the birthiversary list and that is a thesaurus. Never had one, always wanted one. Still really hoping for that "someone else to clean my house" request above all though.