Step One: You don't normally eat breakfast because you feel like hurling every morning and have since as long as you can remember, but go ahead and make yourself a nice bowl of fruit around 10am and pair it with a Mimosa, your tummy will thank you. Trust me. Oh, and you'll feel so much less sad and lonely and terribly lost in your sadandloneliness.
Step Two: Call your favorite new mani/pedi haunt and beg them to fit you in because you've been too busy to schedule ahead, but you're "just hanging around today soaking up some alone time" (I mean, trying to get over your sorrow of a weekend without your beloved). Hurray! They have an opening at 3:30pm!
Choose RED, red will make you feel like a million bucks!
Step Three: Use your kids as sounding boards for your new-found freedom (of course I mean, as a distraction to your utter disparity). PLAY, PLAY, PLAY- outside in the sun with the wind in your hairs and feel proud that you mowed the lawn in a babydoll top and the Canadian pants that make your ass look fabulous.
Uh, Mom? When is Dad coming back? You need to stop spending money on the Crate and Barrel home sale 'cuz he's gonna be so mad!
Step Four: Have your sister over to go through four mystery boxes of squirrelled away goods from all your years of adventures. Throw away one box worth, sort and organize slightly... mostly- pull out the good stuff for the collage you're conspiring to make and begin envisioning what a lovely treasure it will be.
Step Five: This would encapsulate the consumption of Cheetos, ice cream and the bubbly. You can add in your own menu ideas for good measure, but don't leave out the Cheetos.
Stay tuned for steps Six through Twelve... wait TWELVE? Ummm... er. Stay tuned.
Salted Caramel Cake Recipe
10 years ago
2 comments:
ooo it does seem that you're miserable I mean having a good time=)
I bet that nutritious breakfast will counter the effect of all the cheetos, haagen-dazs, and champagne meals... where did you get those Canadian pants again? Mexico?
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