Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Lucca Log: Day 2,872 of my capture.


I blew it. I bloody well blew it. 

Tonight I became too greedy, and forgot what was most important... remaining unnoticed. My emotions got the best of me, instinct took over, and I bulldozed my way through the visiting dog's food like a shipwrecked sailor facing his first meal after nine months on a deserted island. I'm currently tucked in to a deep shame donut, no plans to surface, for fear of facing my captor's wrath a second time. They called me an "idiot." Harsh. 

I'm embarrassed. I truly can't believe my lack of self control. Normally I'm so capable of holding out when it comes to everything else, withholding affection, postponing bathroom breaks due to below-acceptable temperatures, staying asleep or disregarding the captors when they come and go, all EASILY managed. Food, however, is another story.  And junk food? That's REALLY another story. The visiting dog has junk food. It's stinky, and chunky, and processed, and full of delicious fillers. I caught a whiff of her abandoned bowl and visions of cheeseburgers danced in my head. Never mind that I had just eaten my own dinner, I just had to have that bowl of stinky crap. Nobody was watching, it's like they WANTED ME TO HAVE IT. 

Sad as it is, I made the poor executive decision to inhale the junk food and Cam says I'm at risk of puking it up later. I puked last night... so she has a point. 

Damn it.

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